Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
