He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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