you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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