she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
