You really coming over, don't trick.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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