I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
