rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
