It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
FUCK WHALES
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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