if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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