either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
