well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize