I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
