I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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