ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
