for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize