I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
