so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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