You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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