Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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