my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
