hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
im holly from the hills drunk
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
