is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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