Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
