I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
