I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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