i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
