dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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