You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
