Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
