I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
