He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
