Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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