Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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