Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
