ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
