Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
