i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
