i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize