Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize