If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
