Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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