nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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