I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We have so much sex to catch up on
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
