This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
