I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
