in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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