my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
