Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
