doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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