Screwed.edu
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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