508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
