you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
