Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize