I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
