I wish I could punch you in the face.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
