I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
