So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
