I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
