But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
