oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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