I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
