I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
