I hate all girls vehemently.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just want to make out with him forever
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
