he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize