I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
