I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
