me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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