To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
why does every cop we meet know your name?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
