toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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