I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
