so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
