Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if only i could text you this smell
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Randomize
