Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We had to coat check the pizza.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
