She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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