What a fucking waste of an outfit
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
