I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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